i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize