and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just sucked dick on a ferry
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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