Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
