I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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