hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
