he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
