I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
