am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
