3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
