singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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