U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
