hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
