Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
