New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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