More tranny stories later!
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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