Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
