I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
