Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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