I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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