I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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