I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
