The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
