Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Randomize
