Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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