I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
