the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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