Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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