Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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