its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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