i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
