we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize