i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
