Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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