Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You can't just leave with hair like that
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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