in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
