Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
