So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize