Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
