Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
