I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
