I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We have started to decorate penises.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
