The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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