she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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