OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
