you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
