we're blogging at a bar
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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