Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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