you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize