Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
