It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He's on the porch naked. Help.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
