He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
