He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
