do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
