My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
