He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
