Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
