She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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