he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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