Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
