Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
