In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
