remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
