Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
