I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
