dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
