the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
