is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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