I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
